of zombies and friends
Its 5.42am as I am typing this. To think that I have classes from 9am - 4pm later. No I do not suffer from Insomnia (it better not be). I screwed up my sleeping pattern once more. Did manage to sleep, only to discover it turns out to be a nap for 40 or so minutes.
I do not plan to sleep and chiong the whole day later. Very gungho, I know, but I refuse to skip my classes because of my bloody haywire sleeping habit. I reckon I’m gonna be a zombie walking in campus constantly cloud 9. gah!
So I began looking through my countless of photos stored in my laptop. How these (photos) are the only source of comfort to those whom I've left dearly in Singapore. How many of them saw me once as a bubbly 'yak-alot' extremely extroverted teenager to someone who now has lost his fizzle. Which is good I suppose, for people take me more seriously in a way.
I was talking to a friend the other day, of why I do not like to mingle with strangers. I mean, its not that I am a social-phobe, but more of a preference. For what's the use of putting up with superficiality? The prophecy of 'quality over quantity'. The comfort in knowing that I have enough friends whom I can connect with on a deeper level.
Thus, my belief of "friends being a phase of life". How you tend to make friends at different stages of your life (pri, sec, army, work, etc) and how those friendships tend to end once whichever phase is over. If you are lucky, they continue on and see you through the next phase, but reality is, most will just be blending with thousand other faces that roam the streets. You bump into them, out of formality say hi, and exchange numbers, only to not call that person ever.
So why bother making friends then? Personally me thinks, everyone seeks some form of companionship, their own comrades for that matter. It's like the Maslow Hierachy of needs, that is, the sense of belonging. Then again, you might never know if they might be "quality" unless of course u give it a go. But of course, truth be told, most will turn out to be just a hi-bye friend whom you meet up maybe once a year, for a reunion just to reminisce the good old days.
The main reason why I don't socialise much might be due to my past. For I was once very sociable, making friends with every mother's son/daughter (pardon my crudeness). As I grew older and when most got attached, start working etc, it then became an arduous process to juggle the different groups of friends. I try not to be biased and balance the groups equally. But it was never easy. Such, I paved my way out of some of them and still feel guilty to an extent till today.
So I chose quality over quantity, so i became cynical and coined "friends being a phase of life". All stemmed from experiences and the fact that I never believed in Friends Forever (can someone already kill those damned teddy bears?!!)
I do not plan to sleep and chiong the whole day later. Very gungho, I know, but I refuse to skip my classes because of my bloody haywire sleeping habit. I reckon I’m gonna be a zombie walking in campus constantly cloud 9. gah!
So I began looking through my countless of photos stored in my laptop. How these (photos) are the only source of comfort to those whom I've left dearly in Singapore. How many of them saw me once as a bubbly 'yak-alot' extremely extroverted teenager to someone who now has lost his fizzle. Which is good I suppose, for people take me more seriously in a way.
I was talking to a friend the other day, of why I do not like to mingle with strangers. I mean, its not that I am a social-phobe, but more of a preference. For what's the use of putting up with superficiality? The prophecy of 'quality over quantity'. The comfort in knowing that I have enough friends whom I can connect with on a deeper level.
Thus, my belief of "friends being a phase of life". How you tend to make friends at different stages of your life (pri, sec, army, work, etc) and how those friendships tend to end once whichever phase is over. If you are lucky, they continue on and see you through the next phase, but reality is, most will just be blending with thousand other faces that roam the streets. You bump into them, out of formality say hi, and exchange numbers, only to not call that person ever.
So why bother making friends then? Personally me thinks, everyone seeks some form of companionship, their own comrades for that matter. It's like the Maslow Hierachy of needs, that is, the sense of belonging. Then again, you might never know if they might be "quality" unless of course u give it a go. But of course, truth be told, most will turn out to be just a hi-bye friend whom you meet up maybe once a year, for a reunion just to reminisce the good old days.
The main reason why I don't socialise much might be due to my past. For I was once very sociable, making friends with every mother's son/daughter (pardon my crudeness). As I grew older and when most got attached, start working etc, it then became an arduous process to juggle the different groups of friends. I try not to be biased and balance the groups equally. But it was never easy. Such, I paved my way out of some of them and still feel guilty to an extent till today.
So I chose quality over quantity, so i became cynical and coined "friends being a phase of life". All stemmed from experiences and the fact that I never believed in Friends Forever (can someone already kill those damned teddy bears?!!)
That's why I became to develop an attitudinal attachment to my friends whom I am ever close to and cherish, who are the rare breed of friends that surpassed that stage where we once started off as friends.
damnit it!! Why am I writing this bullshit?? its gotta be the aging process...I can't believe i wrote all that crap at this ungodly hour..but nonetheless my stand still sustains.
posted by bleuchiz at 5:43 am
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