in deep melancholy

Ramadhan (fasting month of the muslim calender) looms in just 4 hours as I am typing this. This will be my first fasting month away from home. I will miss the sumptious spread of food laid upon the table by my mom before the break of dawn and after dusk. The smell that filters through the whole house of the dishes she whips out from the kitchen. Painstaking for her, which i soon realise the back breaking chore of cooking once i embarked on my academic journey off-shore.

No one to bang on my door repeatedly, forcing me to wake up and eat before the crack of dawn.

No Gelang Serai bazaar, where its filled with the hustle and bustle of ppl hawking their goods and bargaining being exchanged. No ramli burgers, ayam percik (can cry) and dengdeng which feeds this stomache of mine year after year.

No family to celebrate with, the joyful day of Hari Raya where everyone goes out in full force visiting, eating those kuehs, rendangs, ketupats, lontongs(ok i am torturing myself). What's more worrying is that, with me being here, my dad long gone and my mom performing her religious rites in Mecca, my 3 sisters will be celebrating this joyous season on their own. Visions of them visiting relative after relative without a full unit family saddens me so.

in times like these, i wish i would be shipped back home. *sighz*